another day up and running; pulling rabbits out of my hat

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Back on the upswing (at least from an attitude perspective). Still swimming upstream, but there is going to be a lot of that for a while. Bryan has been quietly and consistently putting in some late nights rebuilding some of our programming (bless him) while I rebuild graphic source material during the day (I make a lousy night owl). Truly, I can't lose sleep or I wont function which just makes things worse. Long gone are the days of putting in an all nighter for me. Although with enough creative motivation I might be able to, but it would take some serious inspiration to create the adrenaline for that.

For now I am hunkered down. But loss brings opportunity. I have always felt this when it comes to moving from one place to another. You may mourn what you once had, but you can't always imagine what can be gained. So with the loss of so much creative work I mourn, but what I might gain is a more organized more streamlined business in the losing. I am faced with a choice to just patch things, or put on my entrepreneur hat and really work the whole scenario. Wearing that hat is what birthed avp in the first place. The real question is...

Is there anything left in my hat?

I don't know. Maybe I have gotten complacent and comfy and forgotten how to hit the gas.

Those wild creative ideas that create a burning in the belly that forces me to go further may no longer be there...

begging to be pushed, prodded and strategized into the light of day.

I do know that if loss brings opportunity, fear can keep you from seeing it.

One of my fears is unsustainability. I think that our culture sits inside its cradle, and creates a lack of peace. Careers, consumerism, McMansions, and such often tip the scales from american dream to unsustainable nightmare. How many exist within that second world?

And so this fear of mine is probably a healthy one. Common sense even. I thrive on peace. My art comes when there is peace.

So having my business be sustainable is important. But sustainable does not mean complacent. There should still be some challenges. There should still be creative goals...

Time to get creative.

Where is my hat?


1 Comment

Hope things are getting back to normal and you aren't too cold from all that bad weather(think hot chocolate). Have a great Christmas, we wish you were here.

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Blair published on December 14, 2007 10:04 AM.

trying to get up was the previous entry in this blog.

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