is that you, salvador?

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Today I felt like I belonged inside a Dali painting. Despite the fact that I adore Salvador's work, having the sensation of being inside one of his paintings is not pleasant. At least the way I felt today. I think it began with me taking in all things political which seemed appropriate after an election. I even listened to Bush's address. And I checked out a bunch of political blogs and probably overdosed on information (which I won't retain anyway). It is the multiple shifting of gears that has got me feeling like I am losing my mind. Business chores like paperwork and bookkeeping, paying bills and the like being the tasks for the day, just added to the messed up feeling. So I dropped everything and painted for a while. Trying out my new waterbased oils was a great break but it didn't give me any more solid a feeling, in fact shifting gears like that (from being responsible business owner to creative) may have worked against me. Multiple times today I attacked different tasks to shake the feeling but nothing seemed to help. Just grinding gears.

I get this way sometimes. I get so frustrated with myself when I am not uber productive. It is a sort of push-pull self expectation that I have struggled with since I was five and it often preceeds a blitz of super productivity which renders the satisfaction wiping away the feeling that I am having now.

Let's hope so.

I could use an uber moment or two.

The problem is that I have a hard time forgiving myself for unproductivity even if it is fueling the future blitz.

Information overdose is not good for this little introverted artist, and I should have known better. Makes things seem surreal. And let's face it, I hate paperwork.

1 Comment

liam and i got to see dali's "Santiago el Grande" when we celebrated our anniversary. it's magnificent, but i don't think i'd want to be stuck in it either.

i almost feel like i need to take a shower after getting sucked into the political world sometimes...

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This page contains a single entry by Blair published on November 8, 2006 3:40 PM.

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